Sunday, August 02, 2009

The Sin of Silence

“Pride before the fall.”

- Someone who knew what they were talking about

“I am going to try living my life with the understanding that when I disobey God, I choose the lesser version of myself.”

-me, about 10 days ago

Peace and blessings,

As part of the application aspect of a bible study I attended about 10 days ago, I wrote down the above words. Since then, I have been trying to remind myself of those words, as well as what they mean for my life and for my relationship with God. Of course, He has an “interesting” way of holding me accountable for those words…

Lately, God has been working on my conception of sin, and helping me to see that for every sin we are consciously aware of committing, there may be a sin that we do not realize we are committing, “flying under the radar” so to speak. Much of my conception of sin has to do with sins pertaining to thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that we are aware of, and that we “choose” to commit. Of these, I tend to focus more on the sins that are reflected in concrete actions and words. In other words, a significant part of my understanding of sin has to do things I say and do.

However, lately I feel like God has been showing me that sometimes, not saying or doing something can be just as sinful as saying or doing something. In both cases, I am being disobedient to God. There are times when I feel like I should apologize to someone for something, or to speak up about something. During these times, I tend to go back and forth weighing the pros and cons in my head, trying to analyze the situation. Although there are times when it is best to remain quiet, there are times when I go against my better judgment and remain quiet, ultimately making a situation worse. God has recently been showing me the “ugliness” of this form of disobedience, and the importance for saying something, especially when my pride is trying to “convince me” to remain quite.

When it comes to apologizing for something I have done to someone that I know was wrong, there’s no real justification for not saying anything. No matter what my pride is telling me, I have to realize that owning up and asking for forgiveness is always better than the alternative. A similar case can be made for situations when we know we should speak up on something, but we refuse not to. Interestingly enough, the reasons for me remaining silent when it is best that I should are qualitatively different from the reasons for me remaining silent when I know I should speak up. What this tells me is that when God tells me to say something or not to say something, His direction is often very clear. It is just up to me to be obedient.

What do you think? Have you recently been silent about something or a situation that you know you should say something about? Have you recently decided to say something, despite your pride (or fear, or anything else) telling you not to? What was the outcome? How did it make you feel? Until next time, stay blessed and speekonit…

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